Thursday, September 3, 2009
Saturday, August 29, 2009
dilemma
So this week has been unbelievable in a good way.
Earlier this week an opportunity arose for a job as a clinical researcher (research on medications, their interaction with patients, giving shots at flu clinics, drawing blood...stuff like that).
Today yesterday I accepted the job after much thought and feeling like I have been in a huge mental dilemma.
You see, I just started at Hospice last November. Love love love what I do. But being on-call so much is very draining to me and my family. 62 hours of on-call in a 7 day period is too much for anybody! I absolutely LOVE my co-workers and am going to miss them terribly. I hate getting use to a new job also. But this offer I received is an 8-5 job, no on-call and no weekends unless I volunteer to give shots at a flu clinic and I get to travel 3-4 times a year all over the US and maybe even out of the country with the option of being able to take a family member with me. How awesome is this! It is quite a bit less pay but in a way I feel better about it being this way. I am completely in God's hands for meeting our needs fully. The benefits are awesome also. I am still in awe of how great our God is and how He knew my path would take this course when I wasn't expecting it!
A couple of weeks back we broken down and bought a camcorder. Boy do I wish we would have done that sooner! It's not letting me post the video directly on my blog so it's on youtube. Julia is making a huge mess at dinner!
Earlier this week an opportunity arose for a job as a clinical researcher (research on medications, their interaction with patients, giving shots at flu clinics, drawing blood...stuff like that).
Today yesterday I accepted the job after much thought and feeling like I have been in a huge mental dilemma.
You see, I just started at Hospice last November. Love love love what I do. But being on-call so much is very draining to me and my family. 62 hours of on-call in a 7 day period is too much for anybody! I absolutely LOVE my co-workers and am going to miss them terribly. I hate getting use to a new job also. But this offer I received is an 8-5 job, no on-call and no weekends unless I volunteer to give shots at a flu clinic and I get to travel 3-4 times a year all over the US and maybe even out of the country with the option of being able to take a family member with me. How awesome is this! It is quite a bit less pay but in a way I feel better about it being this way. I am completely in God's hands for meeting our needs fully. The benefits are awesome also. I am still in awe of how great our God is and how He knew my path would take this course when I wasn't expecting it!
A couple of weeks back we broken down and bought a camcorder. Boy do I wish we would have done that sooner! It's not letting me post the video directly on my blog so it's on youtube. Julia is making a huge mess at dinner!
Monday, August 3, 2009
Going to meet our creater...
I'm frequently stopped in my tracks by what people have to say while working with my dying patients, but today, it was an unforgettable day. Some patients are able to talk about how they feel about death and dying and what it means to them, some are unresponsive and never get the opportunity to verbally process some of their thoughts. Today will stick with me forever.
I was visiting with a very special person and it became quiet during our visit. As we sat in silence together this person looked me in the eye and said, I am ready to meet God, my creator. Simple and to the point. I've never had a patient say that to me. I couldn't believe how confident he was when he said those words. I was trying to process how this patient could be so comfortable with death all of the sudden and the journey that it entails. As we finished our visit it became clear to me that my patient was fearful of the journey but had the hope of God, his creator waiting for him in heaven. My patient was asking me if he will journey through "a valley of the shadow" and wondering if it will be a dark time for him. Unfortunately the answers to his questions don't come with my job discription :-). His questions made me wonder the same thing. Is the point that he is at now his "valley" or will that come when he is unresponsive in the dying phase?
I've been processing this all day and looking at life around me completely different. I've always known and believed that God is the creator of ALL things but this now has a more indepth meaning to me. Looking at my little girl tonight, playing with her so full of life and knowing that my patient will soon die and others will pass this evening while I enjoy my time with my family...wow, Life is Precious.
I was visiting with a very special person and it became quiet during our visit. As we sat in silence together this person looked me in the eye and said, I am ready to meet God, my creator. Simple and to the point. I've never had a patient say that to me. I couldn't believe how confident he was when he said those words. I was trying to process how this patient could be so comfortable with death all of the sudden and the journey that it entails. As we finished our visit it became clear to me that my patient was fearful of the journey but had the hope of God, his creator waiting for him in heaven. My patient was asking me if he will journey through "a valley of the shadow" and wondering if it will be a dark time for him. Unfortunately the answers to his questions don't come with my job discription :-). His questions made me wonder the same thing. Is the point that he is at now his "valley" or will that come when he is unresponsive in the dying phase?
I've been processing this all day and looking at life around me completely different. I've always known and believed that God is the creator of ALL things but this now has a more indepth meaning to me. Looking at my little girl tonight, playing with her so full of life and knowing that my patient will soon die and others will pass this evening while I enjoy my time with my family...wow, Life is Precious.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
one.
One year ago today at 1:39pm little miss Julia Jane graced us with her presence.
Her birthday was celebrated last Saturday with family. Thank you everyone that could make it!We're blessed by such a sweet family.
She looks so grown up compared to the above pictures.
She looks so grown up compared to the above pictures.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
wow.
What a week! God has definitely been teaching me to be patient, place all my cares in His hands and not get so uptight about things.
~Our week started off with Julia getting better from her ear infections (YAY!!!) but then I missed three days of work due to an awful sinus infection and an infection in both ears.
~Jeremy is coming up on a deadline at work and he's been going pretty hard. Well to enhance the mood of the stressful situation, Tuesday, he came home with his back window of the company van knocked out and the center all vertically dented inward...he backed into a dumpster that was in his blind spot when he was leaving work for the day. He feels awful about it and thankfully his boss knows that.
~Here's the part that has been the biggest struggle. The first day back to work from being sick I went to see a pt and that pt passed away while I was there. What has been so disturbing was how that pt passed. I can't give details but matters were out of my hands and dignity and respect were not upheld. That is the goal of my profession, to provide utmost dignity, respect and care to anybody I take care of, young or old. What happened in this situation I was not able to control and I feel like I took on the guilt of this playing over and over in my head what I should have done better although on the part of other people being there, it wouldn't have changed the situation. This is where God is teaching me to totally release the situation in to His hands. I know now that God will deal with those that were involved in the situation and caused it to go badly...not to make it sound negative like He will deal with them harshly but these other people are in God's hands and it is not my place to worry about it anymore. God is so good and I've been able to let go of the situation slowly and not think about it so much. Out of this situation it has made me be more aware to prevent this from ever happening to another pt.
For some happy thoughts:
State surveyed our company this week and we have ZERO deficiencies company wide! Praise God!!!
Today we're having Julia's first birthday party. Lots of family coming and we're really looking forward just to be able to be with everyone!
~Our week started off with Julia getting better from her ear infections (YAY!!!) but then I missed three days of work due to an awful sinus infection and an infection in both ears.
~Jeremy is coming up on a deadline at work and he's been going pretty hard. Well to enhance the mood of the stressful situation, Tuesday, he came home with his back window of the company van knocked out and the center all vertically dented inward...he backed into a dumpster that was in his blind spot when he was leaving work for the day. He feels awful about it and thankfully his boss knows that.
~Here's the part that has been the biggest struggle. The first day back to work from being sick I went to see a pt and that pt passed away while I was there. What has been so disturbing was how that pt passed. I can't give details but matters were out of my hands and dignity and respect were not upheld. That is the goal of my profession, to provide utmost dignity, respect and care to anybody I take care of, young or old. What happened in this situation I was not able to control and I feel like I took on the guilt of this playing over and over in my head what I should have done better although on the part of other people being there, it wouldn't have changed the situation. This is where God is teaching me to totally release the situation in to His hands. I know now that God will deal with those that were involved in the situation and caused it to go badly...not to make it sound negative like He will deal with them harshly but these other people are in God's hands and it is not my place to worry about it anymore. God is so good and I've been able to let go of the situation slowly and not think about it so much. Out of this situation it has made me be more aware to prevent this from ever happening to another pt.
For some happy thoughts:
State surveyed our company this week and we have ZERO deficiencies company wide! Praise God!!!
Today we're having Julia's first birthday party. Lots of family coming and we're really looking forward just to be able to be with everyone!
Friday, July 17, 2009
mmmmm chocolate!
I left the kitchen with the child proof lock off for one minute and Julia discovered the joy of chocolate...we heard screeching and giggling.
Attempting to put the lid back on before mom and dad come after me!
bath time came early tonight! :-)
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
one year pictures
Pictures by Meg. These were taken back in June when it was 100 degrees out. The pictures turned out great! This is one of our favorites :-)
Love love LOVE her little hands.
And as the evening went on and it kept getting more humid this is what Julia started to think of the whole situation. It's her classic Julia look when she's upset or frustrated.
And she's officially had it! I love these pics. They capture her personality!
We had fun Megan! Thank you so much for taking our pictures, we love how they turned out!
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